Real Life · Relationships

Holding onto what’s comfortable

Thinking of so much.

I look at my life so often and reevaluate so much. My accomplishments to my failures. Naturally my failures show more than my actual accomplishments. Human nature, right?

I’m once again looking at myself in the mirror and wonder if I’ve held onto someone for far too long because it’s comfortable. He’s already hurt me in the past I’ve kind of gone numb to his dismissive ways. It still hurts the pride a little, but not like it did the first time around.

Yet, as I sit here at one of my favorite sushi restaurants. I’m here alone. I see couples together smiling and happy to be together. I scroll Instagram or Facebook and see people who were once single now in happy relationships, even some getting engaged.

I wonder 99.99% of the time if I have put my love life on a complete stop because my FWB’s is safe. I know he would do anything for me, make sure I was protected, and love me in his own way. If that’s why I stay? I know I’d feel super guilty because he’s been super supportive of everything I’ve done since we met. He’s the most amazing and beautiful man I’ve ever known, yet my problem is me, not him even though he’s said over and over again that we will never be any relationship progression at all.

What do you guys think? Do I stay because it’s comfortable for me? Do I need to finally let him go? Let me know. I honestly go back and forth in my mind because I am so busy and emotionally I just can’t get into anything with another person.