Who are you?

Do you know who you are? I mean truly know who you are. What you stand for? What you will or will not accept in your daily life?

I ask these questions because we know and understand them in our daily life, especially in our careers and education, but when it comes to relationships of all forms we seem to allow whatever we want. Whatever crumbs love that stupid fat baby with wings throws at us. Why is that? Don’t we deserve to be as picky in love as well as our everyday life?

I would hope so! I mean we deserve it in every single form possible. We take those risks never knowing what the outcome will be when it comes to life, but when we dig deep inside to figure out what makes us happy we freeze, lock up, hold back, and wonder why we keep picking the wrong guys. We would never pick the wrong careers, right? (saying sarcastically). Think about it because I know this idea has taken me some time to really think about, along with trying to manage two jobs and full time school. Good times!

I have realized that I am so go, go, go for my career, but when it comes to love I stop dead in my tracks. I pull myself away from the idea of ever wanting to be in love, or wanting to put myself out there. I know I need to, but at the same time I am comfortable with the way my life is. I am happy with the way my life is. Is it complicated and somewhat unfulfilled? Yeah, at times, but I know it is only a matter of time before it gets better. I have to keep the faith that it will get better.

Looking at who I am. I am that crazy, always talking, always moving kind of woman. I need to be doing something. No, not spending money, but doing something that involves reading, writing, making something with my hands, cooking, trying to find new recipes, and scroll through Tiktok or Facebook. I am the go, go, go kind of woman with the homebody frame of mind. I need someone who is calm, who is happy to just sit and do nothing unless he has to. My connection to him would be just the closeness, my ability to touch him whenever I want. Knowing it would absolutely annoy the crap out of him. I personally do not care because if he knew me, really knew me 9 times out of 10 my physical touching of him could turn into something else if he is interested.

I don’t need a man for financial support, never have never will. That is something I’m pretty proud of. I take care of me no matter how many jobs I need to maintain, at least my bills are paid entirely out of my own funds. The only thing I’ve ever needed from a guy is his attention when I need it or when I have time for it. His presence in family events, not all of them because sometimes there are a lot depending on the family.

What about you? Do you know what you are all about? Do you know what you need to make it? To survive? Can you be as picky in your love life as you are in your career life?