When you know a man has walked away, you can feel it. You can sense it and honestly it was something that you knew had to come, but it still doesn’t make it any easier, it makes life more complicated because this was something that you just didn’t imagine happening right now, especially now when you need his kind of distraction.
A friends with benefits usually never listen to outside people. They know the game, they understand the rules, but when it comes to making sure they are satisfied on every level they are good to go with the arrangement that they have, right? or so I thought. Maybe some men are not “Friends with Benefits” types, obviously not relationship type either, and marriage is no where on their radar because they too have been burned way too much.
I usually thought that a man who had a Friend with Benefits understood how the game is supposed to be played. You and your friend can hang out, no major commitments because honestly you two aren’t like that at all. The two of you have made the rules up just as you liked them, no major outside interference unless someone wanted out then decisions will be made, but out of respect made together. Never once have I ever had a guy tell me that he was talking to another woman and she gave him a different perspective which changed his mind entirely. He and his FWB have communicated what each one needs and wants, neither one ever anticipates each one needing more. If it happens great, if it doesn’t then please keep going at your pleasure. Right?
I sometimes think people who have no clue how to be a FWB tend to mess things up all on their own, and not collectively together. For example, one has a friend that they get a long with, no major issues or sexual attraction between them, they hang out occasionally, but that friend convinces your FWB that the two of you are in a relationship, it changes the way he sees the two of you and your arrangement because now that outsider who has no clue of who you are or what your arrangement is all about has just stuck their nose into something that isn’t their business from the very beginning.
I understand that life gets in the way. I understand that there needs to be space established between the two people, but honestly why does it feel like your FWB takes a major leap back when there are real life issues that do not effect them come up? I sometimes feel like people do not know how to handle certain things. When life becomes real in some fashion it’s really hard to understand how and why things also change.
How do you handle that? When the rug of what you are used to just is ripped out from under your feet when you had no idea that there were any issues going on, you think the both of you have your understanding locked down even when life comes to bit you in the ass in all kinds of ways.
What do you think? Do you think that a FWB gets tired of being just that? How do you keep your FWB’s happy in your arrangement? Is it possible?
Let me know.
Thoughts and Views from Kansas 🌻 