Sitting here in the airport waiting to board to go home I have little daydreaming moments that someone I want will be at the airport to pick me up and he will be happy to see me, but then again reality sets in. Not a priority behind is everyday life, even though I know I wouldn’t complicate or disrupt it at all. I do my level best to keep my crazy family far away, but unfortunately it’s not always successful.
I’ll be picked up by my uncle, go home, and get myself ready for being back into my life tomorrow morning. Yeah me…oh well now that we are in July I now officially have ONE MONTH to get my stuff together for my final, and then school starts again for my students.
Anyway….squirrel…I know I’m sitting here and I often dream of having someone who will miss me so much that can’t wait to see me when I get home, he will want to do something special for me, but at the same time will tell me that he wants to come out here with me. I know I can pay for the hotel, probably get the rental car, but he’s gotta get his ticket and help with gas. It would be nice to have him finally meet my parents. Then again my crazy grandmother and uncle live out here in Tennessee also. We couldn’t stay at my parents house together (not married), but a hotel is far more acceptable, plus having hotel discounts is a bonus!
Why do I get myself all hyped up for a life that I can see in my dreams and pray for, but not anything that is going to happen right now. I need to truly focus on getting these negative thoughts out of my head of never being enough for him the way he wants me (if he even knows what that is), but focus on what I have and what I offer. I started reading a book, “Get Out of Your Head” by Jennie Allen. She is a Christian Author, and honestly it’s good. Gives me a lot to think about. I need to focus on writing my issues out on paper, pray about it, and wait for God to tell me what’s going on. The key part of this book is to really see if I’m truly ready for what God has to say to me about my life issues. I know parts of it, I’m so not ready, it I know God and I need to have a serious talk about some things, other areas of my life I truly can’t complain. It’s all absolutely beautiful!
I’m ready to settle down in my life, maybe not live with a guy 24/7, but to know that I have someone there who sees me as a priority just like I see him as one…..one day…God willing.
Don’t mind me just smacking myself in the airport! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️