I had a reading last night from an Oracle, she has a way of explaining the way Spirit is trying to get me to understand what is going on in my life, where I struggle and what I need to do and how I need to see it as a lesson in life. Well my question last night to her was about my love life….and let’s just say I got more than I bargained for.
The cards that came out was the Strength card with the number 44 on it. She said I have this ability to shoulder a lot, but because I have the backbone for it, and I don’t put up with a lot of crap either, however when it comes to my love life I need to stop using past relationship experiences with men and project it out into the world and also onto other men.
The other card she pulled was Fear, this she told me was that I have a lot of fear that I am holding onto because of all the mistakes men have made in my life. Lord have mercy that made sooooo much sense to me! OMG!!!!! I really do hold onto the fear that if I start to like a guy, we get a long great, things are going fantastic in a cool kind of way, he usually always finds something wrong with either me or our relationship and ends it in that, “It’s me not you kind of thing.” It ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!
After listening to this reading she told me she wants me to make a list of qualities I truly want in a man, relationship, life. Someone who’s going to be willing to put up with all my crazy family, work, school and charity life. Someone who knows I’m so wrapped up in things, that he can give me that sense of peace and quiet when it needs to happen.
I actually stared thinking about that today. She said to start with a list of 25, then move to 35, then 45, and stop. Go over that list again and again and again, and give it to God/Spirit/Universe to make it happen. She said my life is finally finding it’s way, which it really is, but I need to stop projecting my already preconceived notions on a guy because he may actually truly be different from the others I’ve ever dated.
It truly got me thinking, could you seriously sit down and list 25-45 qualities in a person? Least of all a man? I mean a partner for life? I haven’t started that list, but I have been thinking about it and what she said because I’ve always said through the years, “I never expect a man to stick around because in the end they always leave.”
Let me know what you think.