I had a very deep interesting conversation with my mother yesterday. She reminded me of my faith in God, and that I allow my brain to take over my life and also to block my ability to see and accept God’s blessings, and also block me from hearing from Him. I stopped what I was doing and I realized that she is correct. That is what I am struggling with the most and have been for quite some time.
Despite everything in my life I am truly a devoted woman to God. I know He makes all, and lovingly gives his grace and mercy to all of us. I just wonder why I allow my brain to try to out think God all the time even though I know deep down I can’t manage my life myself.
Do you know what I mean? Do you stop and take stalk of your spirituality? I think it is important. I often stop myself from all my crazy thinking, but not feeling because I know God is bigger than me, bigger than my issues, bigger than my job, finances, loss of love, and just whatever else I feel is missing from my life. I know I will get there, but just not on my time it will be His time.
Thinking of all of this maybe that is why I hold onto things and people in my life that I should have let go and left alone. You have to go through different levels of heartache to understand that your heart is even alive.
I need to do a spiritual reset with my life, and shut things out of it so that I can stay focused on what is needed. I stress over so many different things in my life. Career, finances, and my lack of love life. It seems like a little thing to others, but when I see people my age with a life of their own. A home, significant other, or just finances organized. It may not be perfect, because we know nothing ever it, but they still have it. It’s something that has hit my heart so hard these past few years, not sure why, but it has.
I constantly work on myself every day. I hope and pray everyone does.