I understand better than anyone why we build walls up around our heart, and our life. It is a way to protect what we are doing, and also to do the best we can to prevent anyone from coming in and destroying what we’ve done, and also how far we’ve overcome. I sometimes wonder if we build those walls way to high even for ourselves.
I knew after my last serious relationship ten years ago things for me, my life, my needs were never going to be the same. I knew I had to change to make sure I’d never fall for the same BS like I did last time. I also knew I had to change internally. My mind and heart couldn’t be stuck in the same spot for so long. I had to work my way through all that heartache and disappointment.
As I “progressed”, I put that word in air quotes because I have pieces of me that fall back into those old wounds every now and then. I sometimes wonder what was it within myself that started to take some of them down. Was it even me? Was it God that helped tear them down? Was it that I was slowly making progress in my life for better? Maybe I tore them down because I was able to have a different level of confidence.
I started to wonder what if we have walls that we’ve built so high to protect ourselves, that we can no longer see the sun. That we can’t see happiness in front of us, or even when someone who’s worth it in our lives. What if they can’t ever knock them down? Maybe they want to leave those walls up so high that they have kept them as a security blanket.
How do you get around them? How do you encourage them to take them down brick by brick? What if you never can? Some will say a Woman’s walls are higher because of pain. That can be true, but they eventually let that wall down, but what about men? What if Men have walls up so high and so thick that even they forget how to penetrate them. How do you help them? How do you encourage them? Can you?
Just like women need encouragement from men to give them a shot. I am starting to think that men need that same level, maybe a bit more of encouragement to take a chance, to see how a relationship will workout before cutting it off at the knees. Sometimes the hardest part for a women, mainly me, is when I know there is a good one out there, he does exist, but he’s stopping himself from happiness, love, a crazy adventure of I don’t know what just to protect himself of what was, what happened, and brokenness.
If anyone has any ideas, tips, advice for this situation I’d greatly appreciate it. How to break down someones walls by reassuring them that you aren’t going to damage them or hurt them. That you want to hold their heart in your hands as delicately as they would hold yours. How do you help them overcome their past pain when you yourself have overcome it?
Pain, loss, heartache are the emotions we deal with, but the walls are the Mental metal of armor that we put on around us. Every now and then it’s time to take all that off, or take it down gently to give you some breathing room. It all tends to be a solitary life.