Cheating…Why? Life is Hard Enough

Cheating a topic that I am only familiar from one side. I’ve never been the one who’s ever cheated on a guy I’ve been a relationship with. I’m sorry it’s just not in my DNA or even ideas as woman. I mean I struggle with the ideas of Married men cheating on their wives for whatever the reason they feel justifies everything.

Is this something you’ve experienced or done? What makes someone cheat? I have always wanted to understand what in that persons brain makes them think that this is all okay? Do they think they will never get caught? Is their relationship so broken and so un-fixable for them to go to this type of extreme?

If you’ve followed this blog for the three years that I’ve had it, you will be familiar with my experiences of being Cheated on. This is why I can’t stand or stomach people who are cheaters. The first time I was cheated on was my first real boyfriend. I was 19 years old, he was an Professional Baseball player. Now I wasn’t much for “dating” in high school, I was far too busy then. My experiences started in this relationship, but also my self doubt with men. At the beginning I used to be so angry with myself that I felt he “took advantage” of my lack of knowledge, but at the same time I forgot it was just common for most athletes to cheat.

My second key relationship, he was honest with me about where I failed him in ways, but also he told me he was meeting other women. Keep in my mind this was towards the end of our relationship. At that point I just wanted him to leave and never come back. That is why I dove into learning all I could about sex, my own sexuality, and what works and what doesn’t work for me and my needs.

To this day the idea of being cheated on gives me so much paranoia, but also the idea of being with someone who’s in a relationship no matter what type of relationship it is, it gives me hives. I can’t do it. I am not built that way. If I am unhappy in a relationship then that is up to me to leave, to walk away no matter what. Like I just don’t have it in me to do anything like that to someone. I’d rather be alone (which I am) in my life than hurt someone like that.

What I’ve always wondered is how does the other person feel after cheating? A Physical and Emotional affair are the same to me. You put time, attention, and pour your heart out to someone else to only be there for a moment, to get what you need, and leave. What happens after? I’ve always wanted to know the AFTER effect. Does the person find another conquest or do they stick around until the other person realizes that this has to stop?

Let me know what you guys think. At 39 years old I’ve been friends with guys who are in relationships or married, but that is where it always ends with me. Just friends, nothing more. Cheating goes against ever inch of who I am as a woman, and also what I stand for as a Christian woman. I know I’d never be able to look at myself ever again as a good person.

Give me an outsider’s perspective please.