Love or Lust…

I often wonder if I even know what love is. Like I get it’s common between couples that I see are happy together, love spending time together, misses each other when they are apart, and also have each other on speed dial, and texts each other daily. Am I misunderstanding that kind of love?

Is love really that, “Can’t eat, can’t sleep, World Series hit it out of the ballpark” kind of feeling. Those never ending butterflies, that spark you feel when you touch them, or that feeling of peace in your soul? I wonder if it’s that way at all? I’m starting to second guess, maybe even triple doubt myself if I ever really know what love is, or if I was ever in love with my past relationships.

Each of them brought different things and lessons to my life, mostly heartache and disappointment, but definitely lessons. Each of them are different in their own rights, but two only brought serious pain. Obviously the last one only brought heartache and disappointment. Funny how as I look at this as I am writing it, it seems to be a life pattern of mine.

Maybe each relationship was built on Lust instead. It breaks my heart to think of them that way because honestly each one were completely different and I could tell I definitely grew as a woman.

Why is lust the easiest one to find or that my luck in life? I just wonder because when does that lust phase end? Maybe it doesn’t end for me? I’ve always craved love, but lust is easier for me to find or have. I am trying my hardest to Not think of the fact that some of us are born or predestined to live without real love.

I am definitely trying to stay positive about having love, real love in my life because if you’ve read my blogs in the past I know I’m a simple woman who doesn’t require a lot, just someone present, and someone who doesn’t hover.

Have you learned the difference? How did you break out of it? How did you grow on the inside out to have that love? If you have any advice let me know.