Funny thoughts

Being Single

Since I’ve started this book, “What’s My Type” I’ve come to terms with so much of who I am, and also things I’ve completely avoided, or never knew about myself. It has been a major eye opener, and a true come to Jesus moment for my heart and mind.

Currently in the Present Section, is focusing on your emotional and mental state. Believe me it is like a minefield. Something I already knew about myself, and that I now no longer shy away from. The idea that people have a clam demeanor or their mental state is completely in check is like some strange game.

I’m so glad that I have people to talk to, people to lean on now that I know that I have moments of depression that leave me completely alone mentally and emotionally. At times it can paralyze me, and really bring me down to some seriously dangerous lows.

Now that I have found a new job and I start on Thursday, I can feel parts of myself really coming together. I can see some light at the end of a very dark depressing tunnel that I was in. I’m so thankful for my therapist, and my Pastor, plus three of my friends who totally understand what it is I am going through (ladies from church). This whole life event rocked me harder to my core than anything else I’ve ever dealt with in my past, and I’ve dealt with some serious BS.

With this book I’ve realized that I’m not the best person to be in a relationship. I know I’ve told myself that I want one, I want to experience one that is great, fantastic, amazing. Whatever you want to call it, but honestly as I’ve been able to dig sooooooooooooo much deeper into who I am as a person, as a woman I’ve realized that I’m not sure a relationship that is 24/7, 365 is something I’m capable of doing. I mean I know how to flirt, I enjoy sex, and I do enjoy the occasional comfy moments, but honestly it all ends at some point. Right? Well maybe just for me. I know other’s who are beyond happy being married with someone and having a family, or in their committed relationship that isn’t going to leave. As for someone like me, I need my space, need my independence, but I also know I occasionally need to have someone around.

What do you think? Is this idea crazy or is it a new life realization on dating/relationships? Could this be a new “lifestyle” for the new 40-somethings to think about. Let me know what you think.