Moments

Do you ever look at moments in your life thinking, “I am so glad I am going through…” I mean fill in the blanks on the end. I wonder if you look at past relationships, employment, education and more and realize, “Oh cheese and crackers I’ve screwed up on…” again fill in on your own.

I have my moments. The main one that gets me is my education. I really wish I was further along than I am now at 38, almost 39 years old. I could be living in my own place, and probably traveling the world, who knows. I’m definitely working on making my education a priority more so than ever for 2020.

When it comes to relationships it’s always a funny thing. I am no expert at all, I don’t have all the answers, if I did I probably wouldn’t be single, who knows. As I lay in bed with a 25 pound overweight fat cat purring in my ear, I realize that my last relationship thing was just a reminder that I have a heart to share with someone, suffer pain, hurt, and heartbreak. It showed that it’s still alive and ticking.

See on my previous relationship I put my heart so high up on the shelf that you probably wouldn’t even recognize it. It took a lot of emotional beatings and wanted to hide for some time. When the last guy entered into my life he wasn’t what I expected or wanted. He was a huge surprise. It was actually kind of nice.

I’m working towards a better 2020 now that I won a scholarship for school, almost out of debt, and trying to get my own place (again). It’s hard when you don’t have extra income coming in as well.

No matter what anyone wants to say about my past relationships, each of them brought a new perspective to my life, and more. It’s just now focusing on what’s important…ME!