Looking back at things in my life I see where I’ve made improvements, changes, and being able to let go or realize that you’ve been given a special gift.

Do you ever wonder if a former lover in your past thinks of you? Naturally you hope its that one that was the best one you’ve ever had relationship wise. Do you think they think of you too? Do you think when they close their eyes that they can feel you, the memory of your skin, the way you tasted, the memory of your lips, the sounds you made when you made love. Do they miss you? Why do they stop themselves from reaching out to you knowing they need you too?

Those moments pass through my mind every now and then. I always hope that at least one ex misses me, maybe the one I want more than anything, but at then again he knows where I am, right?

I often have dreams, maybe ones that do not make sense to others, but when you meet someone who’s worth something in your life its hard to let go, its hard to move on, but you do need to move on, right? The hardest part is realizing that you will never be intimate on so many levels with that person ever again.

I do miss those quiet moments of being able to wrap my arms around him to give him a hug, or the warmth of his skin against my own. The little kisses I’d give him to show my appreciation and affection. The way I’d feel him inside of me when we were together. His hands, his voice, really everything. In all of my past relationships never have I ever reflected on one so much as I have this one. It’s also been the hardest one to get over or to get through.

The problem is being able to get over it, moving on, or even trying to meet someone new. How do you do that when you know you’ve met someone who’s heart was worth it.

Does it happen? When will it happen? Will I be stuck with these memories that brought me joy and yet hurts all at the same time.