Real Life · Relationships

Good and Bad Love….which is worse?

I often wonder which is worse, Good Love? or Bad Love? both can leave a mark on your heart and mind in their own way, right?

I often think that Bad Love leaves a bigger mark on someone, because it’s harder to break those old habits, defense mechanisms, coping capabilities, and more. I mean it’s easier to keep what someone is saying about you closer to your mind vs someone who says positive things about you. A bad love can leave cuts that only you can see and feel, that run deeper than anyone can realize.

A Good Love, leaves an entirely different type of mark on you. It’s a whole new experience, a whole new world of something you’ve never experienced before. I mean it’s fantastic when it happens because you are seeing that it is true, not every man is the same. There is one who will definitely treat you with respect, consideration, and care. That is the one you need to watch out for the most. They leave such a glowing mark on you, giving you a higher level of relationship expectation that you just want it more.

I’ve experienced both sides of love, the Good and Bad. Honestly the bad is what’s helped my walls stay up, and also make them a lot higher. Do you deal with that? Have you found a love that was so great, different, and ticked every single box on your list, but in the end it left you feeling as if you can’t trust any of it anymore?

I can honestly say, “Yes.” I don’t know if I’ve got the capacity for it anymore. Bad love has affected me in so many ways that it’s made my skin super thick. I don’t get upset about the same things I used to, but at the same time I don’t trust like I should. I am always waiting for the shoe to drop, because in reality it always happens.

Good love scares me the most. I thought I had it, it was there for just a brief moment, it filled my heart with so much newness that I didn’t know it ever really existed. The crap part about all of it, is he knows me so well. I’ve let parts of my walls down for him, and he knows that if he changed or did one simple thing for me, I’d be back right there with him smiling, and so in love with who he is as a person, everything else is a perk.

That’s where we all make mistakes when it comes to knowing and understanding, or even seeing the differences in love, right? The bad loves leaves a bleeding, wound that doesn’t heal right, or sometimes at all. The good love makes us become this person we never thought we would ever be, someone who gives another human being the opportunity chances to “make it better”. Just because they made the experiences of love so different, better, worth something.

How do you overcome Good Love? How do you let go of that without wanting to rip your heart out and just sent it to the person who broke it, boxed up, with a note, “Take it, it’s yours, it brings me nothing but trouble.”