Life as we know it comes in various stages of experience, and knowledge. Education, sports, home life, and more. As we age we learn something new every single day. It’s how we know we’re getting somewhere new, and open to new things.
Relationships are far more complicated, now relationships with friends can be life long and some of the best ones around, especially if y’all are the same type of people, and can be honest with each other. It only gets complicated when it’s with someone we are interested in on a whole new level.
I’ve realized that there are stages in relationships that one wants to be at, and also stages where you can never reach.
You are at the first stage of meeting someone new, the figuring out if there is any chemistry at all….okay, I’m good at this one.
Then it’s the whole investigation/dating stage, where you learn things about each other and see if it works with you or it doesn’t. Who knows maybe it’s a great opportunity for you to try something new, never know….alrighty, got this stage down.
You roll into the next one, that’s the sexual stage. Here you find out if you two can fit and fulfill each other in that most intimate way, sex. Believe it or not it’s really important to make sure everything is good here because if there is no sexual connection then the relationship is just a cool friendship….passion, great sex, alrighty I’m good at this stage.
Then it moves into meeting family and friends. It’s important that your person gets along with the people who know you the most, family, and also your friends so they can equally judge them. In a nice way of course. I’ve done okay in this area, it’s where I struggle. I’ve not met a man who’s excited about this part. It’s like he shuts down and silently starts to exit….a struggle for me.
The commitment stage….now this can mean a variety of things for people. The first thoughts are marriage and kids. Some people just want someone they can rely on to be there, not burn their trust. I definitely struggle in this area because as soon as I think of “commitment” the guy automatically thinks marriage, sharing space with her, sharing bank accounts, and more. Instant panic! In reality some women (like myself) just want someone who’s not going to be an issue, a man who’s gonna be there, have my back, and understand that I don’t want to live with you, I don’t want to know your money situation, I just want you, your time, your ATTENTION!!!!! Plus I just want to be made as important to you as anyone else in your life.
I’ve learned to personal experience to keep money and relationships separate. It’s super hard to do for some, but until you know that the relationship is definitely going to progress into a life long commitment, then keep out of his money and bank account, and he will do the same for you. I learned in one of my relationships that mixing financial information is bad, so very very bad, he took ever single penny I had, never doing that again. That’s why I never discuss any of that with a guy. My money, my financial stress or whatever is my business, not yours. If I never included you from the beginning then it’s not relevant now.
As you can see there are so many different levels and stages to life and relationships. It’s you who define them, I struggle with commitment, meeting family, and just overall wanting someone to be around. I want those quiet moments with someone, but I also want those moments where we can dress up and do things every now and then. I sometimes think praying for a guy like that is difficult, none exist.
If they do, they too are settling for someone that isn’t the right fit for them either.
Think about that when you are looking at your life, your relationship status, and or just taking general inventory of who you are and what your about.