As a woman we are often told we live in a “fantasy world” not sure how or why that came about, but I often think that people truly believe women want this crazy sick fantasy life where the man is the hero for everything, that he is our knight and shining armor. Do we really want that or do we want someone who’s just wanting to be there?
I think that sometimes women do want someone to come in and help clear things up, or occasionally fight those ugly demons, but in reality I think we want someone who will just be present.
I go through my moments of wanting someone to just say, “I’ll take care of it.” or “Let me handle this.” when I just don’t have any fight left for whatever that situation is. I don’t want him to fix everything all the time, I can do that myself, but when I can’t I need to know that I can go to him with no judgment, and he will handle it.
I know it would be the same for me if the shoe were on the other foot. Like if my guy came to me with an issue that was something he felt he couldn’t handle, then I’d say with zero judgment or disrespect, “Don’t worry lover I’ve got this.” Give him a kiss and away I go…kind of thing.
After making a new friend (that’s all he is), I’ve realized that talking about why I’ve avoided marriage, and the pain it caused me at the time, plus the after effects made me a different woman. Made me see life differently. I told him, “I want someone in my life, but I can’t trust that he will want to stick around, because past experiences dictate my future and my fears.” I knew he understood what I was saying because he’s been married and divorced TWICE! He said, “At least you’re willing to give love a chance, it’s out there, but it’s just about finding the right person who will help put those fears away.” I smiled at him, “Does such man exist? Doesn’t every person bring brokenness in when they are in a relationship?” He agreed and said, “You are so right, but he’s out there.”
I sometimes think that we all know what we want, but in reality it’s difficult to see it, or even believe it’s possible. I sometimes just want someone who’s gonna occasionally slay the dragon, and make me safe, but also know that I’m strong enough to handle this life as well.
What do you think?