Relationship Definition: good vs bad.

I was talking to a few friends, and of course my sisters about the fact that I ended a three year relationship. They are all so proud of me because they know that all I’ve ever wanted from a guy is his time, his love, and his attention.

My sisters and friends think I need to get back out there and start dating. Something about showing my ex that I can meet someone new. I just roll my eyes at them because that’s not me, it’s not how I operate when it comes to ending, healing, and putting in time for myself and digging deeper into what I am familiar with, my Bible and God.

Another young lady I know told me that there are different types of men. Some are bad men, some are good men, and some are great men. I told her I definitely knew some bad men. She said, “We all have.” Then I told her I’ve only been with one good guy. She nodded her head, “Yes, your ex is a good man, but he’s not a great man. Let me explain what I mean.”

She said that a good man will give you only so much of himself, but never offer to be or do more to make your life and relationship better, but a Great Man, is the kind of man who will offer to help pay a bill or two. He’s the kind of man who will not hesitate to give you flowers just because, and make sure that you are never in doubt of him or his intentions. Plus he always makes sure you never doubt the relationship.

I looked at her and thought, is a man defined if he helps me pay off a bill or two? Maybe puts gas in my car when I need it? Buys my cat food and litter if he needs it? Where is that rule at in the book of dating. I’ve always had this idea that a man who wants me in his life will show me that he wants me there by making time for me, and is willing to go to Church with me, and family functions when I ask him.

Are relationships defined by this “standard” now or has this always been what women have been looking for and needing for the longest time, and I’ve been too focused on my life, my needs, my wants to even pay attention!?

What do you guys think? Will a man really be willing to be a “Great” man if he is defined by this or is this a fad, no man will ever really do something like this for a woman ever. Please let me know.