Funny thoughts

You see me….

What do you do when you know a lover sees everything you are going through? Do you ignore it, send him a message, or what? I’m completely confused as to what to do because I know it’s time to move on, let it all go, because if a man really wants a woman he would do all he can to keep her in his life, right?

I want to believe that, but I see that I am not worth his time, worth the effort to be loved by someone. He’s stuck in parts of his past, not willing to move forward with anyone other than what he knows, what he’s familiar with. I worry that he will do to me what happened to a mutual friend of ours.

This woman was dating a guy for a while, he didn’t introduce him to his life, but wanted her around. Once they finally ended their relationship the guy went back to his ex-wife. The good thing is that she’s been able to meet someone new, have a great loving relationship and more than she could have ever imagined. I am wondering if I need to do the same thing for myself. Unfortunately I know I’m not that lucky to meet someone new, I mean it took me 8 years to meet the last one.

I’m not sorry for the time, the experience, the knowledge of who he is or what he stands for, but I am sorry for wanting to hold onto something that he doesn’t want to keep.

I always tell people, “Be kind, show love. Life is hard enough. Don’t complicate it by being a jerk.”

I know he sees my life, I know he’s out there, but how to keep something for myself when the time comes. How should I move on? I’m trying to enjoy new moments in my life, but so often depending on what it is a part of me still wants to reach out, but the other part of me doesn’t because I know it will never lead to me being happy, but completely let down.

What would you do? Tell me.