What do you do when you have lost all the fight you had for someone? If you tried over and over again to show that person that you love them, that yes you are a mess, but life together could still be better than what it has been apart.
You know in the deepest part of your heart that you aren’t ready to live with anyone, share a bed with them or your space 24/7, 365. Yet, there is that little ting of hope that they will want you around to fill a silent void that they have allow to fester inside themselves.
I tend to be a free spirit while I’m working. I have to sell a hotel, it’s a product for people to use or see. So naturally I am outgoing during the week. When it comes to the weekend I want to be left alone or in a quiet space. It was nice to have a place to go to when the opportunity was there.
I sit back and think I should have known better. I seriously should have known better, my track record with men and relationships are horrible and somehow they always, always end up in complete disappointment. I’m not sure what else I could have done, but maybe not open myself (or legs…safety please) to the idea of a man who is interested in me, especially one who was the first one in eight years!
Oh well, another male let down to add to the list in my life. Just another lesson to learn. I think my fight of proving something is over with. I’ve waved the white flag of surrender to let it all fall down. He can have his life, I’m done.
I’m not sure if I’ll give relationships another chance. I’m definitely not going to get into online dating, I’m not that desperate. At this point in my life, a man has to prove it to me that he’s not a liar, cheater, thief, emotionally constipated, and always ready to jump ship the next morning.
What man is that?