We’ve all been there, we meet someone new, different, exciting! We walk into a relationship so hopeful never really knowing what to expect, but hopefully this person will be different from the last mess you were in. You take the relationship day to day because deep down you don’t have a lot of luck when it comes to establishing any kind of lasting relationship.
Yup, that’s me! I never take a relationship longer than day to day. It can all change at the drop of a hat, and to be honest in my world and with my luck it always does. Not sure what I’ve done to deserve it, or anything like that, but I’m finding myself single again, but this one hurts more than all the others.
I’ve survived cheaters, liars, manipulators and just guys who were seriously lazy. The latest one was different, he was grown, mature, knew who he was, knew what he was all about, unfortunately he was missing the one thing I needed from him…..compassion. Someone who was willing to go the extra step to be supportive, loving, emotionally available when I needed him.
It was that simple, no I didn’t need his money. I make my own. I just wanted to see him, be with him, make him smile and laugh, but all I wanted was time with him. Why is this such an issue for men? The cheater was unbelievably devoted to my attention, maybe because he felt guilty about the other women. The thief made sure I had what I needed, and that was his presence together, even though he took my money and made it look like his. The last one, he couldn’t and wouldn’t spare any emotional support for me in any way, especially when I needed him this past week.
When you know you have to move on, stop dreaming that the man of your dreams exists, and realize that relationships are all a lie. Everything about them is a lie. Unfortunately for me I still have hope that I will get the opportunity to meet the right guy, but to be honest I was single 8 years before the recent one, and I’ll be single for 8 more if that’s what it takes.
If you don’t see your “partner” fight for you, be there for you during your time of need, emotionally then to be honest it isn’t worth it. I’ve had dated horrible men in the past, yet none of them made me feel less wanted than this one. Isn’t that sad?
Do yourself a favor, make a list of things you want in a partner, keep one tucked under your bed, and burn the other one and put it out into the universe, maybe God will get it right.
I on the other hand am going to give relationships a freaking break. I’ve got my hands full with trying to find a new job while I’m working, plus the idea of school starting again for me this fall.
My goal is to finish school, but find a company who will work with me while I’m at school. Plus if I meet a new guy, we both will be able to make time for each other.