Why am I struggling with my life? Why can’t I seem to make wise decisions or something that will help me make sense of the life I want to have. I never imagined myself living like I do, paycheck to paycheck, and living with family while my friends have their own careers that make them happy, that they love. A life with someone who loves them, and they love them back.
I often wonder what crazy card I was given the day I was born into this world. I know I followed the rules, as best as I could, to make sure I went to school, got a job, graduated, and tried to make a life for myself.
Finding love, and keeping love going in my life has always been beyond difficult. I think I meet a good one, but like everything else I deal with, he is a total disappointment.
I can honestly tell you right now that with the amount of stress I have in my life it is effecting my health. Parts of my body is in pain, it’s storing everything in my neck and now one side of neck is hurting longer than ever before. I can feel it in my shoulder blades to the point of wanting to break down and cry.
Unfortunately like everything else in my life, I just don’t have the time for this. I’m trying so hard to NOT get frustrated with my life because it doesn’t bring me joy and fulfillment like writing does.
God willing I can get back to school full time and focus on my writing…..or go back to school to finish my degree in hopes of finding a job that will allow me to write and be me.