Too short or too long??

Do you ever wonder what the right time of being with someone is the best time to move to the next step?…..Living together???

I ask because my cousin brought this up to me. I wasn’t trying to make a yes statement out of the idea, but she made some valid points when we were talking.

I’ve lived with a boyfriend before. It ended very badly. He used my money, never made the bill payments when I asked him to, and did a few other stupid things that as I look back I should have just taken care of myself. I know it’s stuff I shouldn’t worry about now, but its fears that cross my mind because I don’t want to make the same mistakes again when the idea of living with a boyfriend ever again.

I always thought the next guy I live with will be my husband or “Steadman” like to me being Oprah (without the money), but just be committed to me and our life together.

I started thinking of how nice it would be to come home after a long day of working to see him in my space, or even if he’s out of town for work, his Essenes is there. I wouldn’t feel so lonely. We could make the new phase of our lives together a good one, make our own path, and maybe just enjoy this part of life. However I still want the one thing I didn’t have in the past relationship….Honesty, Commitment, and a sense of self and worth.

Maybe it would be something to think about, but I am still soooooo on the fence about all of that. How do you talk about it? Who should bring it up? Should you allow the other person into the plans you have for where to live? Decorating? What the monthly budget will be for everything? I mean I’m sure these are great conversations, but totally new to me. I can say I’ve never been a fan of combining checking accounts, but maybe if someone is financially responsible to take on that role than the other person, maybe that level of stability is what I need.

How long is too long to be in a relationship before you two move in? or maybe too short? I don’t ever want to jump into assumptions thinking that is what he may want because it never works out like that. There are a few things that need to be done before I could ever get that comfortable with him.

Should there be a prenup for moving in with each other? It could eventually turn into the idea of a possible “marriage contract” that way we know what’s what, and we leave with what we came in.

Am I overthinking all of this? Let me know.