I was just on Facebook and saw an old High School friend finally got engaged. I’ve been friends with the same group of ladies for about 20 years. We’ve fallen apart, but have always managed to get back together.
Everyone of them have been married for years, newly married, divorced, but have kids or step kids and or in committed relationships without a piece of paper. In high school we all used to joke about who would get married first. We all thought like I did, I would be the first one (Someone else beat me to the start line), almost was, but now I realize I’m definitely the last one, and probably will be the last one to everything in our lives.
Sitting here on a Saturday night (alone) that I’ve really let myself down when it comes to relationships. I’ve let my education and whatever type of career truly take over. I’ve missed out on what matters most, being loved and in love with someone who accepts me as I am just as I would for him.
I guess it is really time to accept that this is my life, this is what I’m supposed to be, alone, just me and an overweight cat. Writing about love, dreaming of love, and so on while others get to experience and enjoy what I dream about.
Nothing like knowing you have to watch your friends live a life you want, but from the sidelines of theirs. It’s apparent that something is definitely wrong with me and the world I live in.
Guess I need to accept that the real love in my life are the books and stories that I hold onto. Sucks they can’t keep me warm at night.