Do you ever go through those thoughts in your head and try to understand what is going on through someone else’s brain? You know you’ve put yourself out there in black and white, you never admit that your are perfect, and you are honest about your failures.
I don’t claim to be perfect, that isn’t who I am. I am finally feeling like I am going to be okay now that I am back in a role that I am familiar with, my Hospitality job.
Yet for some reason a man always makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I never put any expectations on who or what we are. I am not the kind of woman who will wait for him to make decisions to bring us together, because deep down I know it’s impossible for him to do that. I’m used to being alone, used to disappointments when it comes to men being in my life, it’s all I’ve ever known.
Just once, I’d love to be able to be with someone who enjoys being with me as well. Knows that I am not hiding anything from him, that I am trying, just trying to live this thing called life. I’m not trying to move into his space, his world, but to be honest I’d like to be in his world a little bit more.
My heart is breaking right now, it’s one of those things of knowing what the next steps are, and being strong enough to take it. I’m not afraid of being single, and realizing that being alone for the rest of my life is what’s best for me. He will never be what I need him to be. He is his own person, his own space, his own life.
Why do people make simple relationships so damn complicated when there is no need? Why can’t two people be honest with each other and tell them how they feel. Everything is always a complete feeling of being frozen out by this person. The inevitable cold shoulder.
I’m not sorry for what we had, it was the best for me. Definitely higher than I could have ever expected. I’m just done trying to keep him interested in me, done trying to show him that I am totally worth it, done with the idea of relationships period.
Why do we constantly have this need to want to make something work when there is no need. He’s not fighting to be with me, he’s pushed himself away from what we could have been.
These are things we live & learn from. It’s all about the people who come into our lives for a reason to only be here for a season. Nothing like feeling far deep into ones self to remind me and every other person that has this idea of love, and relationships that it’s all a lie. It really is all a lie.
Stay single forever people. Don’t get wrapped up in emotional BS because in the end you get burned.