When you finally bite the bullet and say goodbye to what was a great relationship, but a complicated one there is that residual level of hope that the other person will come to their sense and want to fix what is broken, and fix the relationship, but then again when you’ve been given the cold shoulder for so long, along with the constant reminder that you are just a temporary fix to loneliness. It is time to really move on.
I have this conversations with my nieces and nephews about strength and love. The funny thing is they ask me about it all the time. I sometimes am not sure what to tell them when it comes to love, except love for God, family and friends. Naturally they all range in age, but some are in that dating age. I always get the big hug and, “Tia, you need someone to love you.” I just smile and say, “I’m good with you guys loving me.” it is sweet, but it is correct.
You think you understand love, but then again it reminds you that it is a game, and that it is meant to be played a certain way. Only the select few have it right, but then again they struggle as well, yet still make it work. I’ve always wondered how they make it work? Then again I am not sure if I want to know because then it will confirm my biggest fears…..I’m not that lovable.
Where do you find your strength? I dig deep within to have mine present. It takes a lot for me to keep moving, but at the same time to not look at my phone hoping that he will text me or call me. I know it will never happy again, so my strength is knowing that I will fall into my own little pattern of my life. Work, home, work, church, home. Yes, I will go out with friends and family every now and then, but it just depends.
Putting on a brave face of strength is what gets me through my day to day. I know he and I are finished completely, but at the same time I know I can still call him a friend. No ill will or resentment. It is time to let go and be stronger than being weak.