Real Life

Ever Notice?

Do you ever notice how in life some things constantly come up to remind you of someone or something?

Yeah, that is my current, if not a daily life situation. I swear it drives me F’ng bonkers!! Why does the Universe do this? I want to scream on a daily basis, I mean no offense to someone who drives the same car as my ex, I’ll never cause property damage, but I sometimes want to smash the car (I seriously am not violent) or even anything that represents his favorite NFL team, how many fans do they really have in KC (of all places)?!?!?!?

I am trying to live my life, move on, and focus on me and my goals. When I go about my daily life I seem to run across things that constantly seem to fall into the realm of what my life was like with him, or reminders. Sometimes I think the Universe likes to F’k with my head. Like what is it saying? What does it all mean? Why can’t it leave me alone?

Maybe if I stop thinking of how great the ex is, and how amazingly different he was from past relationships, then maybe the Universe will give me a break. Not to mention how people tell me, “Maybe he will change his mind.” or my favorite, “He is still broken from his past relationship issues, he’s not learned to let it go. That is what is stopping him. Give him a break, he’ll eventually grow up, and come back when he realizes that no other woman is going to give him what you did.” I laugh because I’m not sure what I gave him apart from someone to cook for, laugh with and at, make love to him (often), and more.

I know I’m not ready to date anyone right now, but having guy friends is great. I love it, I’m used to it. Nothing like having a distraction, however when I think about it, I do want to be with someone, just not sure if I can be with just anyone anymore, he did set the bar pretty high.

The crap realization is knowing you FINALLY fell in love with the right guy this time, it’s just the wrong time, for him….as always in my life.