Would you?

Sitting here in my office (nothing really to do), I sometimes wonder if it is possible to give someone too many chances? What would your number be? I’ve never really given anyone a second chance, let alone a third chance, or more. In my past all my relationships ended, they ended for reasons that were completely unforgivable. Would you forgive someone because they are ridiculous, come up with excuses as to why either of you should no longer be together? Does there have more chances?

I often think about that in my head, not sure why, but I sometimes wonder what it would be like if you gave someone a third or fourth chance to make things right. I know I wouldn’t because to be honest I know it would be the same outcome. Laying in my bed my mind wonders, my head starts to put together a poem of some kind.

Do you think of me? Do you wonder what we could have been? Am I lying to myself about this? I sometimes wish you would think of me, remember my voice, my smile, my kiss. The smell of my skin, and how I made you laugh, and how I would wrap my arms around you. You keep the sounds of our love making in your memory, but is that enough for you? It seems like it is. Why would you deny yourself of being able to touch me, look at me, and love me anytime you want? Why does all of this have to be so complicated? Denying yourself happiness, and an adventure gives you half a life. I will live mine, you will have to sit on the sidelines of what our lives could have been, watching someone else enjoy what you once had, and could have kept, but again you’ve decided to deny yourself of happiness, love, laughter, and simplicity. 

When things get better you will feel it in your heart. I know I am feeling lighter daily. Just because I’ve found distractions, doesn’t mean my mind doesn’t go there every so often. The thing you learn is to get up, get moving, and to just face what the day brings. Do not worry about anyone because trust me that person is not worried about you. They will have to see what happens to your life from the sidelines. Knowing you will have to do the same, but really knowing them, they will never be as happy as they possibly could with you.

Would you consider allowing yourself to breath, your heart heal, and time to move on. Would you also think of giving that someone another chance? My gut says “Nope, he will not change overnight, especially if he wasn’t honest with you from the beginning.” you have to remind yourself the reason the relationship ended. It helps you move forward.