Having good days and bad days come with trying to heal your heart when it has been broken. That is something I sometimes wish there was some form of instructional book telling you how to get over it, how to heal, but then again it usually is best to just leave it alone and not dwell on it.
That is the hardest part, not dwelling, especially when you have people who love you checking on you. The thing about being checked on, it depends on who is reaching out to you. You have those people who just want to rip the band-aid off, then you have others who just want to hold you while you are crying. Then you have those who remind you that you’ve ignored the continuous red flags that he/she has been throwing, but you are so in love with that person that you just didn’t pay any attention.
Someone told me today that I deserve the “Fairy Tale” I started thinking about that, if I had to stop and think, I’m a Real Life kind of person, because two people can make their relationship a “Fairy Tale” in so many ways. I mean it is up to them. If I had to choose, my idea of a “Fairy Tale” relationship would be to have him in my life, he loves me, wants to spend time with me, stay at home, he would read to me, we’d make our love life sexy and spicy. You need to every now and then. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be real.
I think for me, if I ever met someone who made me feel like ex #3 made me feel, I don’t think I could trust it. I mean, really truly trust it. It would come off as a lie. I think anymore with the way my brain and heart are working, I think any man would come off as a complete lie! I am starting to realize that I’m horrible at dating the right kind of man. Good to know now.
As I’ve stated before, I am saying it now. I’m DONE with the idea of dating. So VERY DONE!