Enough is Enough

Do you feel like saying that to someone or your life? I get that way. I’m actually getting to the point in my “relationship” life where I am saying Enough is Enough, I’m totally done with the idea of being in a relationship with someone. I know I’ve said this before, and he comes knocking back into my life, and I crumble. It is a total weakness, he is a total weakness, he knows it.

I found out that there are at least three men that workout at my part time job that are interested in me. I’m not really sure how I feel about that, but it is a little strange to see myself as someone being interested in me. I’m not ugly, but I’m not skinny, or super overweight either.

I feel a little lost with the idea of not having this man in my life, but at the same time I can’t have a life with the idea of being an after thought either, or maybe he will think of me, or maybe he will text me, maybe he’ll want me as much as I want him. Nothing like hanging onto a one sided relationship.

Knowing I’ve complained about this in the past makes me feel like I cry wolf constantly about him, yet I beat myself up mentally and emotionally because I can’t let go, put my foot down to stop or anything that gives me a back bone against him. I want someone to want me, who is willing to spend time with me. I know I have a busy life, working two jobs, but still manage to make time for him. I’m not looking for gifts, just his time. I want to be able to hold his hand whenever I feel like, wrap my arms around him, have his arms around me to just hold me. Lay next to him and be comfortable.

I am scared to start over. I now know what I deserve, and how I want to be treated, but at the same time I’ve gotten comfortable at times with him. What should I do? What would you do? It is always easier to say, “Get over it, start over with someone new. Someone who will appreciate you.”

Enough really is enough emotionally.