Funny thoughts

When is it a good time?

I often wonder when it is a good time to tell someone how you feel about them? I often get scared because in the end I don’t have a lot courage to face what will happen next.

I’m so used to being alone, but at the same time I have enjoyed being with a man who is a man, and knows how to handle me. I want more than anything to tell him how I really feel, if he doesn’t already know. I’m pretty sure he does.

I feel like I want to, but then all the months of doubt flash in my head and runs through my heart, I stop myself completely. Maybe I’m projecting my fears onto something that I never know what could happen based on fear. I have to protect my heart because I know it will get broken again. I mean he’s broken it before, but it has slowly healed piece at a time because of my own self healing and also the fact that he walked back into my life all on his own.

The idea of starting over with someone who isn’t him scares me completely. I have standards when it comes to a man, being an atheist isn’t one of them (no offense, it’s just not me). I want to be with someone who has beliefs and faith.

Who knows what’s going to happen, but when you wonder how much more someone’s heart can take, yet still feel all kinds of things for the first person in forever, what does one do?

My mind goes back and forth on what was, what could be, and what we should be, yet at the same time it moves from doubt to knowing I can be so happy with whatever kind of life we can have together. So many times the words are on my lips, but I stop myself completely out of fear.

What would you do? Throw caution to the wind and say what you feel in your heart or keep your mouth closed?