So I went out for dinner with a guy friend of mine, (yes that is all he is), but we started talking about relationships and how people fit into certain types of categories. I told him that I can tell that he is a hopeless romantic, the kind of guy who would do anything for the woman he is with, no matter what. He is looking for a woman to settle down with and have some babies. I told him, “Your light is on.” He wasn’t sure what I meant. I had to explain that your reproductive light is on, and because it’s flashing bright, women who just want to fool around, not the settling kind, are not interested.
He then proceeded to ask me, “Why are women willing to date men, and eventually marry the men who are total assholes to them?” I told him, “Honestly I have no clue.” He said, “Wow, Jennifer that is not the answer I was looking for.” I smiled at him, “I don’t understand it myself. I can’t be with someone who is an asshole to me. I want someone who wants to be with me, he will be understanding, loving, funny, take time to get to know me, and be the kind of guy who I can at the end of the night come home to and just fall into his arms and relax.”
He was listening to what I was saying, my mind instantly when to off and on ex #3. He’s like that only when we are together, but it’s never just because. I’m as patient as I can be with him, but it’s pretty pathetic too. He asked me, “Why do you hang onto him?” I sat there, “Because he finally showed me how I am supposed to be treated.” He wasn’t understanding, I went on to explain my past relationships, “He paid attention to the littlest things, how I took my coffee, my favorite ice cream, and which side of the bed I like to sleep on.” He smiled, “That’s what’s important.” Nodding in agreement my heart started to ache for him, knowing he’s out of town for work, I sat there realizing that I want more than anything that we work out. My life is better with him in it. I’m tired of starting over with someone new.
I sat there listening to him as he explained how all of the guys at work told him to be a dick to women, they love it and he would get the right woman. I told him, “Don’t do that! That’s the worst thing you can do, if you are yourself, kind, funny, and find that woman absolutely beautiful, she will love you just as much.” We actually started talking about why women go after the assholes, jerks, whatever you want to call them. I told him, “I don’t have an answer for that. I think it’s got to do with self esteem, and their thinking that a good looking man wants a woman who is a size zero instead of a size 16 or 18. It takes time for a good woman to realize that a man is interested in her, but once they do, well then you are set for life.” He just smiled, “I sure hope so. I want a good wife and a son.”
After I went home, I started realizing that I want a solid relationship with on & off ex #3, and that I miss him when we are not together, but since I work two jobs I’m okay with him being out of town. Makes our reconnecting even better. I just pray he’s safe, and that he wants me too. I told my friend, “You just need to be patient, the right woman will come along, and the moment it hits you, you will not want to let her go, you will do all you can to keep her and make her happy.” He agreed.
Why do most women go after the men who are jerks? What’s the point & what is it all about? I figure life is hard enough, why make it harder with a difficult relationship? If someone could explain that to me I’d greatly appreciate it. I figure if your “damaged” goods wouldn’t you want something different, maybe better than your past? Same question goes for the men who read this, why wouldn’t you stay with somebody who is so right for you, and not chase a dead end kind of woman who wants only one thing.
If someone could explain it to me, I’d be so thankful.