Feeling Lighter

When you finally feel like things in your life are slowly coming together, do you feel a sense of lightness in your heart and mind?

I do, but I am realistic about it too. I never overreact about it. I take it calmly day to day. I am learning patience, finally after 36 years it’s finally kicking in. It has been the hardest thing I’ve had to go through, but it’s working.

I know I also feel lighter in my heart because I’ve completely let go of something. Again this has been a battle for me, but I finally have gotten over it. I’m not going to let him try to reach out to me again and basically play with my mind and my heart. It’s my fault for falling for it over and over again. He’s moved on, I need to as well.

I’ve also realized people’s true colors. Only the ones who really love you, that really care about you will reach out to help or lend a listening ear, should whatever it is to give you that emotional boost. The ones who walk away quietly with no remorse are the ones you need to leave behind.

Guess hitting rock bottom helps, it shows you who’s with you ride or die kind of life, and who isn’t. The crap part is when you are used to being all alone, well you just are alone. Yet, now things are changing, I pray for the best.

I’m always joking about giving my “adulthood card” back, I don’t want to deal with emotions, finances, responsibilities, and all that crap, but every now and then I get a small glimmer of hope and light in my life. I start to feel that heavy weight slowly come off my chest. Patients is not my strongest quality, yet I still try.

I’m hopeful that my life will start to rebound from what it has been. I am thankful for the people who have stuck by with me, but at the same time I’m thankful for the ones who have walked away as well.

I finally have hope that good things will come, that good things will happen and that I can feel like myself again. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone to feel as though I am worth it, but to feel it for myself. That is why I feel like I am a little lighter today than I have been.

Again, I am totally realistic about this life, it’s a good day one day and then total crap the next, but I’m okay with it because I’ll survive it.

How about you? What has you feeling lighter than before?