Being played

Do you ever feel like you get played on by the other person in your life?

They don’t have to say anything, but at times it is the way they are, specifically the way you are treated.

I think this is why doubt and worrying come into play when you are trying to shield yourself from truths and reality.

It’s easier to believe a lie than the truth of who the person is, or even how they are really treating you.

We all want to feel special, safe, wanted, desired in every relationship. If they tell you they don’t, they are totally lying to you. Watch as their nose gets bigger and bigger.

It’s human nature to be with someone. Trust me it doesn’t have to be 24/7, 365, togetherness, but every now and then it’s great. Makes that person feel like you value them or appreciate who they are, and what they mean to you.

Then again, you do have those individuals who value being “single” yet string people along. The problem with that is there comes a level of dead silence. I mean dead cold silence. That is when the ugliness comes out.

Those words of, “Your being used.”

“Your a doormat.”

“He or she is cheating on you.”

“Your just a piece of ass for them, nothing more.”

I mean the list can go on and on. All those self doubts come back. I mean you ignore them when you are with that person, but at the same time it’s only a few hours of peace inside your head. Then all of it comes right back.

You tell yourself that you’ll get over it, that your moving on, slowly. I do mean very, very slowly, but you are trying as best as you can. It sucks!

What do you do when you can’t end the never ending wheel that is your “relationship” with the other person. You tell yourself that you are done, you have to move on, that it is finished and you can’t do it anymore. Yet, the minute they text you, message you, whatever you smile, your heart races, and you get excited to see them because here is your chance to spend time with them, or what you crave the most from them, the feeling of them next to you. Skin to skin.

How do you walk away completely? Stupid question I know, it’s looking at me in the face. I’m just too ignorant to even notice.

I guess that is what I am. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙁