Once a Month

You ever have those special relationships that meet once a month?

I mean as a woman I know I do, and I hate that crazy b*%€h. I hate dealing with her often.

What I mean is, do you have someone who is in your life only when it is convenient for them. I mean it’s kind of funny, but the messed up part about all of it is, your not really that upset with them, but at the same time it makes you crave them more. It’s like being a damn yo-yo or something.

I do the best I can to walk away, but it’s totally obvious that I am weak. I mean I am so weak when it comes to this person and I have no one to blame but myself. If you’ve never gone through it, you will not understand, but if you have or maybe going through it now then you totally understand.

When it happens, lately it’s been once a month. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I want it more than once a month. Does that make me a slut? Gosh I hope not.

I try not to be a smart-ass, tends to be difficult at times, but I can’t help it. Lol!! I know what I want in a relationship, he knows he can’t and won’t give it to me, yet we fit so well together and we get along so well with one another. Please tell me WTF that is all of that about.

All I can do is laugh about things anymore. He’s a fantastic distraction when I need it, he makes me laugh and feel totally safe. He knows me too well, but still sees me. All I can say is Mother F’er!! 🤣

Oh well, it is what it is, and to be honest maybe, just maybe when my life gets back to some form of “normalcy” then who knows, but I’m not holding my breath for it all to workout. Eventually something will need to give. I get nervous thinking of that at times.

When I do feel like I am done, he pulls me right back in.