What do they see?????

Your in a relationship it’s going so great, it’s the best one you’ve ever had, but it ends. Not as you were expecting it to, but hurt is there no matter what. 

You see your ex around, you acknowledge each other, keep things civil (as best as you can) but when your talking to other people, laughing and smiling, having fun conversations with people. Do you ever wonder if your ex looks at you? 

I mean that person knew what made you smile, laugh, sad, angry, and happy. They know how you kiss, your sounds, the smell of your skin and how you look in the morning. What goes through their mind when they see you laughing or maybe even flirting with someone new? 

With any of my ex’s I never worried about that, because they are ex’s for a reason. The most recent one, well it’s so natural for him to be “flirtatious” to women, that it never bothered me because he makes them feel comfortable talking to him, without feeling threatened or put off. It’s his natural charm that made them feel comfortable. 

What I wonder is, what does he see now when he looks at me? I mean I’m laughing with someone else. Attention is no longer all on him, like it used to be, but now it’s focused all on my life and me having fun with it. He’s probably thinking, “She is a hot mess! Mental case, ugh! That was a waste of time.” (Totally guessing, no clue).

I’ve often wondered with ex’s do they miss the person they broke up with at all? or are they totally glad they got out when they did.? I’m not sure, but I think I’ve told each one of my ex’s, “Look I’m a good person, but I have issues.” They would worry, but then I would come back and say, “Don’t worry your tires and windows are safe.” I mean I am Latina for crying out loud, not a psycho. 

I wish I could get a straight forward answer on something like this. It’s gotten easier to not miss my ex as much as I did when the relationship ended a few months ago. I mean I keep one picture of us out, but it’s only one. I’m trying to avoid the calendar’s memory reminders of when our 1 year was supposed to be. I maybe drinking a lot that day. I may call my sisters. 

My thing is, does that person miss you as much as you miss them? Or are they a strange non-emotional person who shuts down completely and ignores what is going on their mind, heart and heck even hormones! It’s so frustrating. 

I wish I could get some answers, maybe I’ll get the truth. Yes, I am totally trying online dating – sucks!!!!!!!!!! Another form of rejection, yeah! 

Maybe one day I’ll get the answers I’m looking for. If you have any please tell me. I’d love to know.