When it comes to dating, being in a relationship, or just being someone’s f*%k buddy there are rules that need to be followed. As long as both sides understands those rules then everything is fine, but if you are ignorant towards them, then someone is going to get hurt. Just because you are with someone doesn’t mean that the relationship will last, you’re just hoping to have fun with them. Never ever go into a relationship without some level of realistic expectations.
Do you establish rules? Are you a player and she knows that? or as a Woman are you a player and does he know it? What exactly are you wanting this new thing to be? How do you voice your opinion? Do you play mind games with them? I think as we get older and understand just how the game is played in relationships we all need to step back and think about what we want, where we want to be, with or without someone. How can we make sure that they feel and want the same things as you? The worst thing any two people can do is assume, one or both of end up looking like an ass.
I’ve always noticed a few things when it comes to men, those who have been in a committed relationship, and it ends, (depending on the guy) end up feeling like a lost puppy. Not trying to be funny with this one, but it is true. They give themselves in every possible way to this one person, devotion, love, respect, and more. When it ends, they now have to figure out who they are all over again without that one person. Now, some will try to date shortly after, or find some unsuspecting female who is very needy and string them along. Yes, there will be genuine attention and more, but as always end goal is reality. Now, understand that you are the “Transition chick” nothing more. No good/substantial relationship ever comes from being in that position. I’ve seen it happen one to many times. The guy reels them in and the woman falls for it and then when it ends the woman is the one curled up on her best friend’s bed with a bottle of wine and a tissue box. While he’s back out there playing the field because he’s trying to “find himself.” Be smart about it.
Ladies, we have a habit of doing the same thing to men. We should be better about doing this to them, the problem is that we want to always one up them, make them think we are outsmarting them so we won’t get hurt. That is where mistakes are made Constantly. The rules are this: know what you are going after, understand that as you move in the relationship things matter, it may not have such a heavy effect to you, but for the other person it tends to have some weight. Make rules up for yourself, stick to them as best as you possibly can because the one thing you don’t want to do is forget why you are f’ng with this guys head. Now, curb those feelings because a man is also a “rebound” guy when he needs to be. Honestly, I used to have a few of those in my 20’s. They tend to become obsolete in your 30’s because you’ve learned the game, played by the rules and now have a new set of goals for yourself. However, if you are seriously that desperate and can’t handle being alone there is always some unsuspecting idiot walking around with sex on the brain that you can just get in and get out and be done. Those guys are not the one’s you cuddle with or sleep over. Once you’re done, wait for them to fall asleep, go to the bathroom and get your stuff and go. Never be ashamed of that “Walk of shame” learn to be prepared, keep a bag of stuff in the car and go home.
What I am trying to say is when you are getting involved with someone make sure there are rules. I mean I love where my life is. I’m not really all that attached, even though I’d like to be, but with some limits. What I mean is, I’d really like to say, “Yes, I am with…(insert name here). We are in a good place.” instead of, “I don’t know what we are.” make sure you know this because it can mess up a lot of stuff.
Just be honest with yourself and with them because no matter what, one of you or both will get hurt. Nothing wrong with putting it out there before it goes any further.
Thoughts and Views from Kansas 🌻 