What happened?

I’m sitting here waiting for my doctor wishing I could have someone at home waiting to take care of me. I know it’s a total wish, I’m not that lucky for anyone to give a crap about me. 

I say that because it’s true. There is a moment in your life that you realize that you are no longer relevant in someone else’s. You long for the days when someone would drop whatever they are doing to take care of you. No, there wouldn’t be any sexy time, but just to know that you are special and cared for. 

I’ve always wanted to know how do people ignore the basic human needs and affection of life? Your not looking for “Superman”, “Prince Charming” but damnit I want to be important to someone for just a little bit. 

I know it sounds like I am throwing a fit, to be totally fair I am. Currently I have no voice, my mom had to schedule my doctors appointment. I am once again dealing with a small fever. I know we all get sick, but when you are in a relationship isn’t it nice to have someone with you, taking care of you, willing to go get you some soup and something to drink just so you won’t have to move around or watching some new show you found on Hulu. 

I want to know how the loss of that connection between two people happened? Does it show too much emotion if you show any kindness or the fact that you give a crap about them? If you can’t tell I don’t wear sickness well. I’m the worst freaking patient ever, but I miss the times when every now and then my previous ex (before the most recent one) would actually go get me some soup, let me sleep, remind me that I had to take my pills or drink whatever cough medicine the doctor prescribed for me. As much as he was a jerk (and he was) there were moments when he cared. I don’t miss him, but I miss the action he took to make sure I was getting better. Why do we not do that anymore for people we care about? 

Those who are married do it (I hope), couples understand, especially those who have been together for a very long time, and even those who are totally pussy whipped, go out of their way to make things better for their partner. 

I am looking for the day when I am cared for, even for just a moment. Someone telling me, “Don’t worry Jennifer, I’ve got it.” Or maybe saying, “Hey I got you some soup, let’s watch some movies.” I miss all of that. 

Reaching out to any of my ex’s is not an option. I don’t remember their phone numbers. Lol! Plus with one of them there is no freaking way I would ever open that door again, he’s lazy and doesn’t like to hold a job down. As for another, well he’s got his life and I’m not a thought in it. As for one of them, when I left in 2001 I never looked back and have changed my number a few times since. 

Oh well, it’s always my luck to be alone in this world. I might as well get used to it. Just me and my cat Oscar. Common courtesy for people in each other’s life has gone out the window? 

Do you check on people who are important to you? No matter who they are.