Do you ever feel like you’ve hit a brick wall on your personal life aka your “love life”? I mean the both of you make each other laugh, find one another attractive, the dynamics are there, but in the end something is missing? You’re not sure what, but it is.
When a couple that is so right for each other in so many ways ends, things can never be the same. It’s hard to look at that person the same way. The feelings are there because you never got the chance to really deal with them so you could have closer in your heart and mind, yet they think it’s funny to string you along no matter what. Again you can’t hate the person because no matter what you stuck yourself with the same routine of who you were before and have failed to see what the two of you are now. I think this is where the “Brick Wall” of realization comes in.
The fact that someone finds you attractive an anyway is a plus, someone wanting to spend time with you is a bonus. No major expectations because in reality all your praying for is that this guy is totally different from your ex. I remember saying, “Please God, don’t let (so & so) be like (blah blah). I’d really like a man to be a man, who just wants to spend time with me.”
The shit part is eventually heartache follows, you try to understand it, you know make heads or tails of what just happened to you, but in reality there isn’t any real explanation just total bull shit stuff for them to feel better. That’s the messed up part of it all.
I think I’ve hit my brick wall with relationships. I’m officially done! I’m over it all. Throwing in the towel completely. I’ll just be what everyone I know expects me to be, that single gal with a ton of cats. Just the thought of that hurts my heart. It’s really sad because we are not meant to be alone or experience life alone. If someone tells you that, then they are full of crap!
I don’t think I have it in me anymore to want to be with anyone. I think my heart is done. It’s been broken one too many times, used up for just whatever reason, I’ll never understand, but why do people play like that with someone?
I have zero problem if a woman wants to flip the script on a guy, but the man better be MAN enough to handle it, if he’s not then well you’ve got your answer.
The worst part about being single and alone is everyone feels the need to find you someone. Your not really ready for someone new, I mean really new, but in reality you don’t have the heart to tell them that your closing shop, your done. Any hope you had is all gone.
The hardest part now is actually following through with letting that person go. I mean really truly letting go for good. Not sure how best to explain that all you wanted was them, who they are inside & out. Attention is great every now and then, but not to be totally dismissive from their lives either. The worst part of ending something is realizing that now you will have to watch that person move on without you being apart of it.
Harden your heart just enough to protect yourself from things. Only open it when it’s right, when that person can actually understand that what you want is real, no games.
The crap part is knowing my luck it will never happen again in my life time. I’ll be single for the rest of my life. Might as well get used to it. Hopefully your not like me.
Thoughts and Views from Kansas 🌻 