Sex: the ultimate Relationship question.

I’ve often wondered if men look at women differently if she is sexually comfortable in her own skin. The kind of woman who is up for trying new things, who will often suggest they try a new position in bed to make it fun, but at the same time mix up that good old “Vanilla” type of sex.

It is something that has recently crossed my mind. When we are young we learn about sex in Sex Education classes, but if you had my upbringing you would have learned it from the local Health Department where your mother worked at for years! You would see teenage girls pregnant, learning they were pregnant, finding out they have an STD, or some with their 2nd or 3rd child. Very scary and traumatizing experience. Aside from that many of you learned about sex from school, not the best type of teaching, but at least it was something. Boys found out about what girls, and what their bodies look like in that class, but if not their dad, uncle, cousin, best friend, always seemed to have a copy of a Playboy Magazine or Hustler, my personal favorite an old VHS tape of an old classic porn tape that they found “mysteriously” in the back of their dad’s closet or bottom drawer. That was their first level of “education” of sex or their idea of what sex is.

As we get older we start to learn what sex really is all about. It comes with a lot of responsibility. Many don’t talk about it, men actually have to think about a lot when it comes to wanting to bone some chick they just met. Condoms, lube, will she make fun of me? Dose she give oral? I mean the list can go on and on (totally guessing on a few of them, but you know there are more) but you know from a female brain there is soooooooooooooooooooo much more that goes into the idea of having sex with someone. There really is a list for both sides when you think of it.

Now, when sex has actually happened in our lives and relationships or one night stands, heck even friends with benefits, does a man’s perspective of a woman after being with them sexually change? Does he just let her do what she wants to him in the bedroom? Will he ever admit what he wants from her? Does he look down on her if she’s sexually comfortable?

Men do talk to their friends, I know you all do it, it’s totally natural don’t hide it. Now there is that select few (I personally know one guy) who do not communicate a damn thing to their guy friends. I mean absolutely NOTHING! You start to wonder why? There isn’t anything wrong with talking to your guy friends about sex, it is something that should occasionally be discussed because you never know if he maybe going through the same thing you are going through.

Now guys, if a woman you are with wants to define the relationship you are having do me a favor do not freak the heck out! All she could be asking for is just You! There is something about you that she really likes being with. No games, no hiding, no cheating, just the two of you. Sex will naturally be something the two of you do. However if its a long term relationship that you personally are seeking make sure she is on the same page, some women are not there yet mentally or emotionally. If you find a woman, start dating her, please keep in mind that there are different types of actual relationship definitions. There is the casual dating type: the two of you are free to date other people, but its all just sex. Dating & More type: that basically means that the two of you are dating, not cheating on each other, spending time together, and having sex, no games, yet still having fun with life – this relationship does not require any ring, moving in with together, or anything like that. Please make sure you understand that one. Then there is the ultimate relationship, the big cheese kind of deal, both of you are looking for that one person to get married to! This one is a must! Make sure the both of you are on the same page with this one because if not you will end up getting burned and then some.

When it comes to women we totally enjoy when a guy who is sexually advanced or even sexually adventurous. Oh my gosh it’s like hitting the freaking jackpot! All those 7’s lining up perfectly in so many ways. Nothing like it, it’s the best freaking feeling in the world when you don’t have to coach a man or tell him where things are, how to do this, how to do that. He’s strong in who he is, knows that women have special parts on their bodies that are either sensitive, erogenous zones, maybe even a few ticklish spots. Do me a favor guys, learn those spots on your woman it makes you getting something back a million times better.

Now here is a little secret that I think you all should know, We want to hear you! We know when you like something I mean your eyes are closed, mouth open, breathing heavy, but at the same time you could be pulling on our hair, but when we are giving you something we want to hear you just like you enjoy hearing us, we want to give ourselves those mental high fives as well, because it’s our way of knowing, “Oh heck yeah I just did that!” or maybe, “You are welcome sir!”

I know where I am in my life when it comes to the type of relationship I want to have with someone. Nothing right now that ends up with us living together, married or anything like that, give me some time. As for you guys do you ever think about the type of relationship you really want with a woman? How do you classify it? What do you look for? Do you tell her upfront that all you want is sex or do you tell her I want sex, but I also want to spend time with you. Think about it I’d really love to know.