Do you know what type of person you are? Do you even have a specific type that you look for when you are dating someone? Everyone is different, but the funny thing is we tend to go so outside of ourselves to try to find the right person. The problems we face when we don’t know who we are to begin with are the same issues we complain about when we get into a relationship.
I know exactly who I am, do you? I am variety of things. Being a woman it tends to explain a lot, (Laughing). I am strong, independent, at times pretty fearless, free thinking, Christian, loving, loyal, trustworthy, a sports nut, book reader, loves animals, has wild ideas, loves to explore things that are totally new, and genuine good person. I truly do the best I can to no judge people, because I have zero right to do that. I am not the one the person will have to face when their time comes. When it comes to relationships I know I’ve changed a lot. I love my independence, it’s taken a lot for me to get that feeling back. I am only “clingy” when I feel like it. Leave the T.V. on with a good sports game and I am happy. I mean yeah I’ll watch “Star Wars”, “Lord of the Rings” plus “Pride & Prejudice” over and over again, but give me a good book and a chance to take a nap and I’m solid. If you cook for me I’ll love you forever (Laughing). I do know how to cook, but I just dislike doing it. Since I am not materialistic I see more value in keeping things simple than making it difficult. When it comes to relationships I enjoy hugs, kisses, holding hands, and I have zero problems with public displays of affection, just as long as they are respectful and descent. I mean the inappropriate stuff can happen later.
How do you see yourself? It isn’t shallow to do an occasional mental or self check up to see how you are handling things. I know I can’t figure everything out. Yes, I pray (DAILY) but I also have great friends and more that help me figure things out. Grant it our view points are totally different and it is all taken into account, but still you need to really look at yourself. Do you close people off for any reason? What is that reason? Do you only want someone on your arm occasionally, like a play toy you can call or text whenever you feel like it? When you are in a relationship how do you stay true to who you are? See I’m a take me or leave me kind of person. I don’t hide the fact that I’m lazy at times, rather read a book, watch something on my kindle, or even eat pizza on a Friday night than get all dressed up and go out to eat when I have to be polite and social. I’m not organized so please do not ask me to, my level of organization is something special. I know where it all is, don’t touch it.
When you are in a relationship how much of yourself do you offer to that person? Is there a limit? How do you hold on to you? I don’t want to make this self-focused, but in reality if you don’t make somethings about yourself then you will never get anywhere. At some point you will definitely put yourself first. If someone tells you that is so wrong of you to do that, do me a favor and hand them a bill or something, tell them to pay it, if they give you some strange look, take the bill back and walk away. No one needs to tell you how to live your life. It is yours, own it.
Do you have dreams of the your ideal relationship? What you hope it would be, or maybe how you hope your future partner would just love you flaws and all? Laugh, it’s funny but for me it is totally my nature. I see myself in a house, with my fat cat Oscar and maybe a dog that I adopted from a local shelter. Simple kind of life with a published novel or two (how cool would that be), but for my ideal partner I just I’ve gotten to the point of being real, someone who’s there, accepts me, loves me, doesn’t hang over what I’m doing, loves family, gotta love sports. I mean very simple, not complicated.
You have to start setting up life guidelines, there is nothing wrong with that. You have to set expectations for yourself in this life, remember you only live it once. Enjoy all that you are, and people around. Start setting positive goals for yourself, go to Church, join a book club, start hanging out with people from the gym, have drinks with several co-workers on a Friday night. Have fun! When you do that you will start to see what’s real, your layers will start to pull away and the real you will come out. That is when you know what you expect from yourself first before you can expect anything from anyone else, because by doing that you know what you are all about.