Funny thoughts

Starting Over take 2: New Rules

When starting over in a relationships with someone do you ever sit back and think about setting new rules? New guidelines? Do you have any at all? Think about it because the worst thing you can do is try to reignite an old relationship that should have never ended to being with, but carry all the old stuff with it. Who decides the rules and regulations of the new relationship?

That is what’s going through my mind right now. When you sit down and talk to someone and basically tell them this is what is going on, do you think they are listening? I mean I am not sure how much clearer one will need to make something a fact before it starts to be ingrained in their brain. I have a goal for my life, a path, it maybe totally unconventional for majority of people and how they view things, but to be honest I don’t comment on your life, so please do not comment on mine. Are the rules re-established from the previous relationship to be carried on the second time around with the same person?

These rules I speak of: Don’t Cheat, Don’t lie to me, I want us to have fun, don’t take this whole thing so seriously, we enjoy spending time together, we also love our own space. Let’s make this second chance a fun one, no stress, no worries, no crazy obstacles. Let’s see where this goes and for how long. No reason what so ever to rush into anything. For me, I am still getting my feet underneath me, finding my path and am finally seeing positive goals for my future. No where in any of that does it say that I need to have someone with me completely, every now and then is just fine.

This goes back to the explanation of “Committed Relationship” I think this term comes with a variety of different meanings for individuals. The key part is that when you look at where you are, if you are dating someone, your happy with them, you find them attractive, enjoy spending time with them, and are not a fan of some other person trying to take what is yours then to me that is a committed relationship without all the extra stuff/stress that goes with figuring out if you and that person are going to move to the next level. Knowing what you want to start with is a plus, making sure that person knows as well is a Bonus! The concept of relationships have changed so much through the years. It has also changed for the people living their lives. To me a “committed relationship” is two people who aren’t going to cheat on each other, and just enjoy being together. No strings, no games, no questions. Why does the word and meaning always get so mixed up and cause panic?

Can two people really try again? I’ve always wondered about that. Now, if anyone can help me figure this out I’d be forever grateful. Does the couple pick up where they left off or do they start over? They already know a lot about each other, nothing is really all that secretive anymore, but like an onion it has layers and needs to peeled back to get to the next one. Do they pick up and start fresh, but understand the rules. No more games, no more hiding, just the two of them. Any suggestions would be great!

I’ve always known something wasn’t right when a good relationship ends. Now for me I’ve only had one really good relationship, but with my friends I’ve seen it. Never sat right with me because then we start to talk about what went wrong, what happened, where can it be fixed, if it can be fixed at all? The instant someone says something it’s always, “Well I wanted to get married and he didn’t.” Depending how long the couple have been together this tends to be an issue, but the way I look at it, if it isn’t broken don’t try to “fix” it by adding something that isn’t there or should not be there to being with. Can two people who fit with each other’s lives just be? Let me know because when it comes to certain things I never know what to tell a friend. I usually tell them, just take some time for yourself and wait. Never know what could happen, if it doesn’t workout then take more time to heal and move on. I’m really good at giving advice, but horrible at taking my own at times. We all get that way.

The goal for me when it comes to trying again is to not lose myself again. I need to still have a life, my own experiences, fun, and adventure. My hope is that he would want to experience some of that with me, maybe not all, but some. Have you ever set new goals when starting over? Be it in the same relationship you had before, a new one or just yourself?

I mean there is only so much ice cream you can eat (I’m totally lying with that one!…laughing). Any advice is welcomed.