This topic came to mind when I read an article about Men and Sex. The guy who wrote it started going through moments in his mind about how often he thought of sex, is it different for men, and do men really see sex as something emotional. As I read this article I realized that men do see sex as emotional but no where near where we do as women, but it is still there. It didn’t say that it makes a man less manly if he does have an emotional side for sex, it just makes him knowledgeable of who he is and what he’s all about.
I started to think do men really look at sex as a form of connection? I mean not just physically, but emotionally and mentally? From the female brain perspective majority of what we do and who we are is based off our emotional, physical and mental state. That is never going to change. The article did bring up a great additional thing to think of. When do boys see themselves as men? For girls its when that first moment we realize that we have just joined “womanhood” its usually around age 12, that never ending friend that shows up monthly. I hate her and wish she would just go away, but that’s me. Now for boys when they enter the world of “Manhood” it’s when they experience sex for the first time (according to the article) the first time they see a girl naked and experience all that goes along with it.
The more I read, he found that sex for him was emotional. Now, hear me out when I explain why he said this. Because when a man starts to have sex with a woman, as he enters her, that portion of his brain calms down. It’s like going home mentally. A feeling of pure arousal that screams, “Heck yeah, she’s naked and I’m making her feel so good.” but at the same time it’s where you feel most comfortable too. I never knew that until now. I mean it makes sense. For us we think, okay good we got something going, let’s see how long this will last. Plus about a million other things going through our brain, but when it comes to men their brains will just focus on the one thing until they are fully satisfied. After that the brain goes blank until it falls asleep or needs to do something.
Coming from a female brain, to me sex has always been a hit or miss kind of thing. My brain will focus on what I’m doing, but then just like a guy it goes blank. It really is emotional, but at the same time it can be hormonal as well. Men can be ready to go at any moment, but women a lot of us need that physical touch, that feeling that our partner will care for us before, during and after. I never realized that it can be that way for men as well. He mentioned that some men love the idea that he can cuddle with his girlfriend or wife after it’s all over with, and enjoy the sound of their partner breathing. Now he did realize that it isn’t always so “magical” and often times couples with kids wanting to have sex need to find creative places while the kids are either asleep, out with their friends, or staying with grandma and grandpa. He made it a point to say that even then with all that madness sex can still be emotional and not mechanical.
Do you ever think about that? When you make love to your partner do you think about them, their pleasures, turn on’s and more? What if sex is just a quickie, what goes through your mind when you see your partner? Being a fan of Erotic Romance Novels it has given me great opportunity to not only think of new ways to see sex, but to maybe add it to my life. No, take “50 Shades of Grey” right out of your head, I mean come on! That is total fantasy no one is really going to be like that or doing anything like that. As for the other’s a lot of them are pretty amazing, very real to life. Those are the novels I love the most. In those stories men had emotional attachments to sex, they never used it as a weapon, but to bring pleasure and joy to their woman, but to themselves as well.
Sex is a funny topic because when someone brings it up your heart races, blood somewhat starts to flow and you tend to blush. It happens get over it. He did admit that men tend to think about it more than women do. I know that to be a fact, but he was also surprised by the level of dirty minds that women have. He was caught totally off guard by it. Now, that part does not surprise me. I mean majority of the best Erotic Romance Novelists are women. Amazing women who use the talent of their imagination skills to come up with stories that have something for everyone. A few are way out there for me (two guys, one woman…or even three guys, one woman) trust me they are out there. I had to totally agree with him on this one, but he still found that when he compared women to men, it floored him about the level of dirtiness of minds that some women have hint the reason why some men have no idea what to do with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality or just the idea that she could be “adventurous” in the bedroom, car, parking lot, airplane, wherever they can get away with it.
We should be comfortable talking about it, people do it every single day. The worst thing someone could ever do is use sex as something painful, because that turns into some mental, emotional and physical abuse. This is why many have a hard time with the topic of sex.
How do you see it? Is it something you work for, make it fun, or is all sexy time all the time? Let the creativity flow when you are with your partner. The guy suggested that men need to really think about how sex does equal an emotional connection to their partner. Do you look at sex that way?