Do you ever wonder if your friends really have your best interest at heart? I know some do, but some don’t. It is different depending what is going on in your life, or in their lives even. We can’t seem to understand what goes on in their minds to try to solve any problems they have or the moments they are trying to figure out. When you walk in their shoes to know how they feel then maybe they will have better knowledge to possibly see as you do.
However, we all know it is different when it comes to men and women. Men technically don’t really talk, and if they do they refuse to get a second opinion to help them understand what is going on. It isn’t a sign of weakness guys! Please know that. When you talk to your friends spilling out what is running through your head doesn’t mean you are weak, it means that you are strong enough to know, “I need help, maybe so and so can help me figure this out.” It could be your best friend, co-worker the one who seems to have a strange connection with you because the two of you are seriously attached to one another at the freaking hip, but talk to someone! There is zero shame opening yourself up to another person to get a different perspective when it comes to dealing with life, relationships, or just everyday guy things. Men when you share what is going on with you mentally, emotionally and physically you put it out there for someone who may totally understand and have survived in their own way, to maybe give you pointers to help! Talking Good, Shutting Down BAD! Keeping it super simple there.
Now you say, “What does she know?” well lucky for me I was raised by some strong women, tough guys and more (the more = real life experiences). For my own experiences I’ve always had men in my family: tough, Military, Mechanics, type men who would sit down and talk to their wives, girlfriends, and daughters about what was going on. Many of them leaned on my Grandmother because she was so wise. Other’s would just look to the head woman in our family, that was usually my Aunt. She would stop what she’s doing, listen to their problems and figure out the best way to advise them. The point is, they TALKED about what was going on. There was no SECRETS, no SHUTTING DOWN just open lines of communication. I guess it is easier to have that when you have siblings. I do know what it’s like to be an only child (for just a moment) but I still had moments of conversation with people.
Women, we love to talk. We will talk about our emotions, mental state, physical things and more. Sooooooooooo much more. I mean the doors were thrown wide open when “Sex and the City” came out. Best example of women sitting down and really talking about relationships, ourselves, sex (or lack there of), marriage, babies and more. Naturally when men see a group of women together they instantly think we are talking about men. Hate to break it to you guys, but we do, and we are. Now we will discuss other things, but majority of our conversation is about Men. It depends on the male situation, be it relationship, breakup, starting over, sex. WHATEVER – nothing is ever off limits. We often wonder why men don’t talk to their guy friends like we do. I am sure some will talk about how great a woman looks in whatever dress she’s wearing, or maybe trying to picture what she is wearing underneath that skirt. Yeah we know your pervs. It’s okay, we have accepted it. You’d be surprised how often we wonder what you look like under there too. I mean does it “fit” according to your personality.
I know when I talk to my friends male or female I listen to both sides. I actually listen to what they are saying, and how they say it. I take a moment to really think if one: I’ve explained myself clearly, two: where am I going with this train of thought, and three: it worked for them, why not me. We as women look at every angle of everything when it comes to our lives. We have to, so many elements come into our world to either make it better or make it worse. The thing we hate the most that can make us totally bitter is when a person is around for a season when they knew they should have been around longer, if not forever. Here one minute gone the next when in reality it could have all been worked on and figured out with no issues or complications, but No it’s never thought of that way. Women are totally guilty of doing this too, trust me I am an equal opportunity offender. Women who do not know their self-worth are the guilty one’s who cheat, move from partner to partner never really giving themselves time to heal. I know men do this, how is it possible? Now you know where the term, “player” came from.
When talking to your friends do you really open up to them? Do you keep things to yourself and hope that it all works out? I know I talk to my friends, I don’t hold anything back, but I also pray. I pray daily, sometimes multiple times a day because that is all I can do.
Who do you turn to when seeing advise or just a friendly ear?