Do you make a Pro’s and Con’s list? Is it broken up between career decisions or relationships decisions? I’d really like to know. I always make a Pro’s and Con’s list about a lot of things. The problem with me, is depending on the situation and my mental state I can overlook things that other’s have pointed out to me as bad habits, bad decisions, or just plain stupid. Those conversations are super fun.
Sitting here, looking at my dinner, a bowl of Shrimp flavored Ramen noodles, and enjoying the quietness of my apartment I start to wonder about my Pro’s and Con’s list. I tend to have many, especially when it comes to different phases of my life, but the list I always focus on is my own life, and eventually my career. It has been forever since I’ve had to actually create a relationship pro/con list, but I have recently that thing is totally put away in a box with all those memories.
What do you put on there? Is there an unlimited amount of items that need to go on both sides, are those lists totally logical? I’ve always wondered about that because at times my list tends to be a bit of both. Logic and Emotional, my two favorite words of description. When thinking with our brains we remove all sense of emotion from any and all decision making when it comes to our career. We think we make the right choices when the new opportunity is set in front of us, but as we quickly learn, that quick decision isn’t always best. It leads you to a sad path of heartache and tends to bring up issues with depression. Those experiences are never fun. Then you move on to something else. Key word: Lesson learned.
What about relationships? Do we sit back and think about the pro’s & con’s of a person or do we just figure it out as we go? The problem is, when one list looks better than the other, we throw that list out the freaking window and just go off of what’s in front of us. Not to mention when emotion seeps through your pores to remind you that you had it great for just a moment. It happens, don’t worry eventually you will get there too.
Men have no reason to make a pro/con list. They decide what’s best for them at that moment, at times they think with the brain that is actually above the shoulders, 9 times out of 10 they think with the other brain, and that is when they get into trouble and well hate to say it men, your lower brain can be classified as emotional even IF it is mixed in with Hormonal.
Women, we need to make more pro/con lists when it comes to our lives. Really every single aspect of it. No shame at all. Set standards for yourself, for your life, heck even your love life! Why not, we set goals and more when it comes to our careers, why not in every other area. I can say some of the items I have listed on my pro/con list have literally bitten me in the ass, literally! I thought one day why not, I mean I am making a list for what I would really love in my life, put it aside and pray about it. Now, little did I realize most of it would come true, but in reality all of it still stands. As for my career I’ve not done so great. I need to really sit down and make one, detailed exactly what I am looking for, pray about it and lift it up to God. I should be picky about my jobs just like I am picky about a man. Grant it one is always harder to obtain than the other, but hey at least I still have something. What about you?
I look at things differently than others. I see color when many see black and white. I see hope, life, and love when other’s are just dismissive. While I can see all of that, it helps me decide what to do with things not effecting my career, knowing my personal life is always some ticking time bomb ready to go off at any second. It is the natural evolution of my world. I have totally gotten used to it, sad I know, but when it comes to my career I either fight for it, or I throw my hands up in the air knowing I need to just let it go and move on. Ever wonder why it is easier to move on from a horrible job to a better one than from a horrible relationship to a better relationship. I guess maybe one makes sure we have money to pay the bills (LAUGHING!!!!) the other, well its a warm body to fill those moments of loneliness.
The reality is that we do that all the time. When we know we are being disrespected, unappreciated, and tossed aside in a career we stand up, work to make some positive changes, and move on. No looking back, no calling the old job, no texting the old job, we move on breathing deeper and cleaner than we have been in a very long time. When it comes to relationships we hold onto what was, what could have been, the memories, the phone number, and occasionally review the past text messages (I delete all mine after a while, no reason to hold onto them that goes for everyone). If anyone can explain the difference in those two things of life I will forever be in your debt. I will then share your knowledge to other’s who are suffering too.
My goals in life are very simple, good job, roof over my head, my basic necessities taken care of. Nothing major, not complicated at all. Now when it comes to relationships I can make a list of what I am looking for, and for some reason it is really hard to find a man who wants to walk this path with me. God (goes to Church & Bible Study with me), communication, faithful (no cheating), laughter, please COOK (LOL!), not worried about kids (if he has some I’m cool with it), wants to be apart of a LARGE family (so many family members) and loves animals. See the list is longer when it comes to that partner for life, but when it comes to a career well we tend to keep it simple.
Why is that? Why do we short change ourselves professionally vs. personally, should they both be equal opportunity employers?