Funny thoughts

Second Changes, is it possible?

Do you ever wonder if it is possible to ever get second chances at anything? You get them in sporting events. Second chance at bat, second chance to run that play down the field. Occasionally you get second chances at your job. Every now and then you even get second chances with friends. I know when it comes to my life I’ve had more than two life lines that I have used, it is more like four or five. The good thing is I know when I make mistakes, definitely doing the best I can to never make them again. That tends to be the hardest part.

Now life can be considered a marry-go-round of you have no idea what you are going to get when it stops. The funny thing is most people know who they are and what they want out of life by the time they reach their first year of college. For me this has taken some serious time. I knew what I wanted to be when I was a little girl sitting in her room writing in her journal without even knowing what a journal was for. I wanted to be a writer, unfortunately in my world it doesn’t ever workout that way. I ended up going to school attending the classes that were decided for me. Not all that fun, trust me.

As I have gotten older I realized that I did all of that to please others, never once was I ever really happy until recently. I started taking some college courses to dive into Writing, to actually study it and to understand how I can be better at it. Meeting new friends that enjoyed it just as much as I did reminded me that you can get second chances at figuring yourself out, and really never losing that passion of who you are and what made you happy to begin with.

I kind of wonder if it is possible to get second chances at love? Is it something we leave to fate? I really do wonder, if someone breaks your heart, you allow yourself to heal and they want to come back, do you let them back in or do you keep that door shut? What is the correct allotted time to be in the “grieving” process when a great relationship ends? I have many years of practice to know how much recovery time you need when a bad relationship ends. I usually give it until your next new haircut, or even your next new fabulous, probably should not have bought shoes. As much as I love “Sex in the City” I could never afford $485.00 pairs of Manolo Blahnik shoes, besides it’s not like they are really all that available in Kansas anyway. For me it was buying a few new books that would always help me. Once the book was done, you put that one on the shelf along with your past and experiences to start a new one. Onto another story where everyone got their fantastic ending.

My wonder is when a great relationship ends, do you give that person a second chance? Distance, space, no calls, no text messages, nothing just an occasional “Hi” with a little bit of sass added in can irritate someone, but lucky for me I overthink. I mean I literally overthink everything. I’m learning not to, old habits die hard.  In that time span of a great relationship you realize what you are truly looking for, and what you really truly want in life. Never once have I ever been materialistic. I shop at the second hand stores for crying out loud. The most special thing a guy could ever do for me is Cook me dinner and remember my favorite kind of wine. When he does that, you know he pays attention. Do you throw a guy like that away or do you give him his space and let him figure his world out then come back to you? I just do not want to make it feel like I am putting myself on hold for him when I am not. I am living my life as best as I can, it may not make sense to anyone, but hey it doesn’t have to.  I sometimes wish I could have that type of relationship “Carrie & Big” had with my ex, minus the cheating when she was with “Aidan”, but in the end she ended up with the right man. I mean I would hate to have to wait for my Ex to get it together for as long as the “Carrie & Big” saga went on. The thing is even though they were a couple, had sex here and there, feelings were real, but at least they were able to go out to dinner, laugh or even talk on the phone like normal civilized people. Is it really possible to do that, because I know I pray daily for my Ex (my most recent one, the other’s can just fall off the face of the Earth) he is a great man, kind, loving, thoughtful, funny, makes me laugh and laugh at me. Do you let go of all the good times spent together and start over with someone else, or do you live your life, let him live his and pray that the two of you come together again.

Is there a time stamp on hope and second chances?