Relationships · Uncategorized


You ever wonder why dating is so difficult?

I started to ask myself this question after a relationship ended. It was probably the best relationship I’ve ever had, yet things were not what they should have been in the end.

I’ve dated all kinds of guys. Athletes, workout fanatics, average Joe’s, but the idea of dating an older guy was new to me. I’ve always been around guys my age at the time. They all had great jobs at the time, but in the end it all failed just like our sex life. In the end the spark went away.  Funny how that all works out. You think you found a great guy, but as times fades everything else fades with it.

When you meet the right guy it seems too good to be true, and all you are hoping for is to enjoy the ride of whatever you are together because who knows where it may go. Just being together and enjoying each other’s company or maybe just maybe making it to finish line that you hoped for one day.

The right guy is the one who laughs with you, at you as well. Knows the way you take your coffee, what you order at Starbucks, knows that you are allergic to certain types of food and is willing to meet crazy friends and a few family members just to make you happy. He is also the one who knows your favorite type of jelly that you put on your toast in the morning, and knows that you just like to cuddle or watch some stupid movie with you because it makes you happy. Then the real kicker is when he knows a simple hug, smile, or the touch of his hand makes everything go away.

Now, when it comes to sex with the “right guy” it is dangerous. He takes his time to study you, know what turns you on and what you like. He is open to trying all kinds of new things with you that you never even thought of, plus not to mention things you have only read in those amazing erotic romance novels. It is an adventure that doesn’t end, it is amazing and turns out to be the best sex you’ve ever had in your entire life. When you have dated as long as I have, reaching close to 40 years old, finally dating someone who is special, he comes along and when it’s over those are the worse kinds to get through.

You love your friends because not only are they all happy in their relationships, boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives whatever is your poison, but then you start to wonder, “What do they have that I don’t? or Did they settle?” all those ugly voices of why you were single to begin with after your last horrible relationship play in your head and start to effect that tiny space in your heart that you closed off for personal reasons, now it feels empty all over again because you have allowed yourself to open that small portion of yourself to someone you hoped to enjoy life with no matter how long the ride was with or without the ring being the finale.

What is an independent, Christian woman with a decent one bedroom apartment, over weight cat, debt, and a reasonable job to do? Am I to ever really give up on love or am I to listen to what other’s tell me, “Let God take over.” Believe me with everything in my life I have lived by that moto of “Let God take over” I have zero problem with that going through my head, but my heart gets in the middle of it all and reminds me that I’m alone and how tired you are of being alone when others of the same age group are in relationships, married or even have kids. Who knows.

How do you start over?